WCBC Blog

Forgive and forget. That is what we are often told when someone has done something wrong to us. But all this really does is creates more questions, “If I still remember—have I really forgiven?” “How can I forgive?” “What is forgiveness?” “Do I have to forgive even if the one who hurt me is not sorry?” Quite often these questions alone trouble us and we start to think, “I know that I should forgive, but it is so hard!” Thankfully, the Bible shows us what forgiveness really means.

The word “forgive” means to hand over or to release someone. Forgiveness can be used in either way. When someone is truly sorry for hurting you, you may release him from his offence. But if someone does not repent, or if time and circumstances (like death or distance) make it impossible to know if they have repented, then we may hand that person over to God’s mercy and justice. In a later edition we will examine the principles of forgiveness with some practical steps. For now, let’s look at the foundation for forgiveness.

1)     We forgive because our whole purpose is to be pleasing to God. Second Corinthians 5:9 teaches that our whole ambition, all that we labor to do, should be that we may be found pleasing and acceptable to Christ. This is an important point because if we seek to forgive for any other reason, like watching them squirm with guilt or to find comfort for ourselves, we violate God’s Word which tells us to forgive as Christ has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32). Sometimes we refuse to forgive because we do not understand what the Bible really teaches. Sometimes we refuse to forgive because we misunderstand God or His justice (If I forgive, then she got away with it!). If we continue to ignore God’s Word we take ourselves out of the place of God’s blessing and only multiply our troubles.

2)     We must ask, “Is my memory perfect? Is what I think happened really what happened?” Words are said, events take place, and sometimes we may miss the full view of what really has happened and we feel hurt. We may believe that someone has wronged us when in reality there was no offence at all. When we ask the question, “Is my memory infallible?” we bring the whole story into view. Proverbs 18:17 says, “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.”

3)     We must ask, “Am I really innocent myself?” Quite often the answer is “yes.” But we should always ask if we might have sinned against God by having a part in someone’s sin against us. If we chose to be in a place where trouble happens, we should expect trouble. Perhaps the way in which we responded to an offence was really honoring to God. Ephesians 4:26 tells us that we may be angry with someone—and still not sin! There were occasions when Jesus became angry—yet he never committed sin (Mark 3:5 cf. 2 Cor. 5:21; 1 Pet. 2:21; 1 Jn. 3:5).

4)     We must consider how Jesus responded when others hurt him. First Peter 2:20-23 says that we should expect to be treated poorly when we do something wrong. But when we have done nothing wrong and people treat us badly we have an opportunity to glorify God by doing what Jesus did. “For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:”  These verses say that Jesus did not focus his attention upon those who were hurting him without cause. Instead, he entrusted himself to the Father. In spite of the worst abuse in human history, Jesus glorified the Father by obediently going to the cross to, “…bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness.”

The foundation of forgiveness does not rely on feelings. Forgiveness begins with a determination to please God. We do this by understanding what the Bible says about forgiveness, by getting the full picture of the offense—including the possibility of our own part—and by entrusting ourselves to God’s care as we faithfully love and obey Him.

Continued…